How to travel back 400 years in time
1. Stick your head out of the window and shout: “I am the King of the Pineapple People!” That wasn’t exactly necessary, but it felt good didn’t it? Now, let’s move onto the next step.
2. Crochet a red gnome for no apparent reason. That also wasn’t very necessary but who cares, it looks good.
3. Decorate some eggs using smiley face stickers.
4. Okay. Now this is the most necessary part: Bake some biscuits with extra chocolate and lots of ice cream on top and if your parents say no, go and make them sit in the corner. Once you have done that, go outside, turn around four hundred times, (try not to get dizzy!), sing “Old Macdonald had a Farm” and then, BOOM, you will have successfully time travelled to 1626.
5. If you want to get back to the current time, go around shouting at people that you are from the future and you can tell their fortune. After you have shouted at 30 people about telling their fortune and at least 20 of them have said you are an idiot, climb onto the roof of a house, sit there until it is Christmas time and then go down the chimney and deliver a dog bone to that house and 400 more. Once you have gone back outside you will have been transported back to the present. Actually, it is not the present now. It’s Christmas Day.
Enjoy
